52 Ancestors - Week 4: Invite to Dinner

Week 4: Invite to Dinner

There are dozens of ancestors I’d like to invite to dinner, but the first invitation would go to my Grandma Sullivan, Mary Josephine Bednorz. I have so many questions.

Marie Josephine Sullivan aka Grandma Sullivan

I know a bit about her young life from census data, my own research, and research done by Aunt Winona, her daughter-in-law, but not from any stories she told me. She never lived in the past.

Mary Josephine Bednorz was born on October 30, 1893 in Waverly, Wright County, Minnesota. Aunt Winnie’s information notes she was baptized in St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Waverly. Her parents are listed as Andrew Bednorz and Frances Marketon. But I don’t have either her birth or baptism records to confirm this information. Drat!

Her parents, Andrew and Frances immigrated to the US from – well, it varies from census to census. Andrew is listed as from Germany, Schleswig-Holstein, or German Poland. Frances is listed from Poland, German Poland, Germany and Szczedrzyk, Opole, Poland. National boundaries changed frequently in this era which may be the cause for the confusion. Family lore says Grandma was Polish. Better documentation is needed to sort out where exactly Andrew and Frances are from. At any rate, they arrived in March 1886 and Andrew worked as a blacksmith and farmer his whole life. The family lived most of their lives in and around Marysville, Wright County, MN except for a stint as a farm hand in Cass, Buffalo County, North Dakota. (1900 Census).

Marie, as she liked to be called, is with her family in census records up to 1905 and then she goes missing until her first son, Lucius Arthur, is born in Minneapolis, MN on June 11, 1915. A couple of intriguing census records for 1910 have Mary or Josephine Bednorz entries, one as lodger in St. Paul, the other as servant in Buh, MN. But neither of these records can be offered as proof. Furthermore, though family lore says Marie married William Augustine Sullivan June 6, 1914, in Minneapolis, MN State records has no entry for this marriage. Another family story tells how Marie met William when she was working at the restaurant in the Golden Rule Department Store in Minneapolis. But again, no confirmation.

Marie Josephine Bednorz around 1910

So my first questions would be about her family – where they came from, why they came, what were they like? What was your life like growing up? And I would ask about the period of her life when she left the family and then met and married our grandfather.

I know they were in Minneapolis for the birth of their first two children, Lu and Edwin (b Apr 8, 1917) and then were transferred to Le Pas, Manitoba, Canada for at least 2 years, maybe as many as 4 or 5 years. Grandpa Sullivan was a lumber grader and salesman and traveled much of the time. The Midwest was just being cleared of first growth forests and timbering and lumber were large industries.

William Augustine Sullivan, 1930s

Just how did a boy raised in Marshfield, WI, become a lumberman and how did he get to Minneapolis to meet and marry Marie Bednorz?

According to Grandpa’s WWI Registration Card (dated Sept 20, 1918 and signed by the Police Magistrate of Le Pas), he was a lumber inspector for Finger Lumber Co. Strangely, he lists his mother as his next of kin and his permanent address as his parents’ home in Marshfield, WI.

Why, Grandma? Why not you, his wife?

Two daughters, Mary Catherine (b Feb 9, 1919) and Dorothy Gertrude (b Apr 12, 1920) were born in Le Pas.

What was life like living in Le Pas? Did Grandpa travel while you were living there? How did you manage 4 small children? What were your living accommodations?

When they returned to the States before the birth of their 3^rd daughter and 5^th child, Ann Elizabeth Whelan Cecelia (Jan 20, 1922), they moved to Oshkosh, WI.

1924, Oshkosh WI. Marie Sullivan with Lu, Eddie, Virginia and Sylvia

From that time on, the facts of their lives are pretty well known and traceable. More children – 6 in all – were added to the family until Marie and William A. divorced in 1936. The youngest child, Gerry, was only 6 months old when they separated. He says his Mom told him that “Arthur” as she called him was an alcoholic and drank all his earnings. Toots (eldest daughter, Mary Catherine’s nickname) thought the stresses of making ends meet during the Depression may have played a large role.

What happened, Grandma? Was Grandpa the scoundrel Gerry describes? Or simply a man overwhelmed? Or something in-between? How did you manage the stress of being Catholic and needing to get a divorce?

She met and lived with Al Chappa sometime after her divorce. She and her kids moved in with him on his farm in Redgranite for a time and then they all moved back to Oshkosh around 1943 when Grandma bought her house on 747 High Street in Oshkosh, having received an inheritance from her sister. I believe Al and Marie married in 1951 and divorced in 1954.

The 1951 City Directory for Oshkosh, WI, shows Mrs. Marie Chappa living at 747 High St with Albert Chappa of the same address. Marie is a presser for a dry cleaning company and Al is a blacksmith with Wisconsin Axle. I know Grandma had this job for many years, doing clothing repairs and alterations for the dry cleaners.

What are the stories here? I’m hoping Grandma would be willing to share them with me, although I expect she would wonder why I felt these things were important. I wrote about Marie’s life when I first started this blog in 2013, but my knowledge of this part of my ancestral family has not advanced since that time. I wish I knew more.

But this dinner is not just about grilling my Grandma for names, dates and places. I would also want to share back with her the ways her genes and her legacy have affected and to this day still influence my life.

First, I would thank her profusely for making me dresses and tell her that my all-time favorite dress was the pink princess seamed polished cotton dress with the lace and black velvet ribbon. 

Lynn and Nancy wearing our Grandma Sullivan pink polished cotton dresses

I would tell her how I learned to sew, sewed many of my high school and college outfits, and continue to sew – clothes for my grandchildren, quilts, and gifts. These are gifts of love to my family, just as those dresses were gifts of love from my Grandma.

I would tell her how special her house was to us – the magical carved doors to the front parlor, the great play space and reading nook that was the porch on High Street, the little pantry kitchen, spooky basement, and the claw-foot tub in the bathroom.

Grandma's house looking toward the front parlor . Grandma is second from left.

I would remind her that, like her, I love to play cards – sheepshead in particular. And that I loved that she allowed us to be kids in her house and regularly shooed us outside to explore the neighborhood around her house – the museum across the street, the river area, and even walks down toward campus. And that we never lost anyone or behaved badly because, if we did, we’d be tarred when we got back.

I would show her a photo of her great-great granddaughter who looks like me, who in turn looks like my Mom, who all look like Grandma Sullivan. 

I would tell her that, as I look back from my adult perspective, I was lucky to have such a strong and resilient woman role model in my life.

Marie Josephine Bednorz Sullivan, about 1955

Grandma, you raised and nurtured your own kids and your grandchildren as well. I am doing my best to pass on this legacy to my kids and grandkids. I thought you'd like to know.

Love you Grandma.  

52 Ancestors: Week 3 Longevity

Week 3: 

Longevity is always in the back of my mind these days. Today is my 70^th birthday and I have a lifetime of crafts, sewing and genealogy projects to finish. I need to live a long time to have a prayer of getting these done. And I need to have my arms, legs and especially my brain to function well these next years. In looking at my family, those on my mother’s side usually live into their late 70s to mid 80s, but are plagued by dementia. On my father’s side most ancestors have lived into their 70s, but with heart problems. My mother-in-law, Lorna Dosch, today told me I had 23 years to catch up to her (she’s 93 this year). I hope to live as long as she has - but unfortunately I don’t share any of her genes. Still, she is my model of longevity.

Lorna Jane Wilson was born November 12, 1924 in Clayton, Polk County, in northwestern Wisconsin. Her father was a farmer who had cleared the land, built the house, barn and out-buildings and owned a threshing machine with which he traveled across several states to harvest the crops of others.

1926 Lorna in center with brother Edwin and sister Hazel on the farm in Clayton WI

The US entered WWII while Lorna was still in high school. In the early 1940s, she met and began dating a young college student named Lee Arlo Dosch from the neighboring town of Amery, WI. Lorna graduated from high school in 1942.

Lorna 1942 Graduation

Lee enlisted in the navy in 1942 with active duty waived until he graduated from River Falls State Teachers College (now a University of Wisconsin school) in 1943.

1942, Lee and Lorna 

Lee was sent immediately after graduation to Notre Dame, Indiana, for Midshipman School. After this training, he was sent to Boston for training in radar technology at Harvard and MIT. While in Boston, Lee bought and sent (by US Mail, no less) an engagement ring to Lorna. She visited Boston after Christmas of 1943, found a rooming house and job and stayed. They married at Harvard Chapel in Boston on March 4, 1944.

Lee Dosch and Lorna Wilson, Wedding Portrait, March 4, 1944

Lee was sent to the Pacific in the fall of 1944. While he fought in the Pacific in the battles of the Philippines and Okinawa as a radar technician aboard the famous picket line destroyers, Lorna returned home. It’s hard to imagine how she must have felt during what must have been a very difficult year for them both.

After the war, they settled in Cumberland, where Lee taught Chemistry and Physical Education before becoming a guidance counselor. They raised a family of 3 boys and Lorna eventually became the head of the food service program for Cumberland Public Schools. Under her tenure lunches were wildly popular with staff and students alike because the kitchen made everything from scratch. 

Lorna, 1983, Head of School Lunch Program 

During the summer school breaks, Lee, Lorna and kids traveled widely within the U.S. via camper.

1966 Fishing Bridge campground - Dave, Lorna, Dennis, Duane

In retirement, they continued their love of travel, visits with family and friends, and service to their community through their church.

After Lee’s death in 2001, Lorna continued to live in the house they had owned for more than 50 years. She managed all her needs – gardening, canning, serving Thanksgiving dinner to a hoard of hunters, volunteering at church, etc, for several years longer. She kept meticulous financial records and managed the maintenance of the house without outside help. She was never afraid to speak her piece about politics. But, like her father before her, over the next two decades, she developed severe rheumatoid arthritis in her joints, especially her wrists. She had a nocardia infection in her lungs which nearly killed her and she lost her hearing to a bout of shingles that settled in her ears. To add insult to injury, she suffered from a particularly aggressive form of glaucoma that stole most of her sight. Her doctor always called her “a tough old Swede” because nothing kept her down for long.

Lorna was well into her 80s when she told me she had baked and was delivering cookies to “the old folks” around town. I reminded her that she was one of the “old folks” and people should be delivering cookies to her house. She just laughed.

Following a fall just after Thanksgiving of 2015, at age 91, Lorna's children finally convinced her she could no longer live in her home. She refused to live with her children and she would not consider leaving Cumberland, so with many tears, she moved a small part of her possessions into a one-bedroom apartment. Owned by the Cumberland Medical Center, this apartment was conveniently attached to the nursing home, hospital and clinic, provided one meal daily and was only a block from her house. With extra help provided weekly by staff member Ruth, driving duties and lawn care at her house provided by a family friend, Bob, neighborly watch over her house by Joe, and monthly visits from son David, Lorna managed both her house and her life as she had always done. She knew when bills needed to be paid, doctor visits scheduled, and birthday cards mailed. By sitting next to the large screen TV, Lorna followed all the sports – Packers, Brewers, and Badgers and could talk knowledgeably about players and statistics. Having coffee with friends (on pretty plates, of course) was always a priority and the kitchen had cookies stashed in many cupboards and drawers.

Lorna January 2016, moving to her new apartment

Easter dinner at Lorna's house, March 27, 2016

Thanksgiving, 2016, with the Colorado kids - Dennis, Alex and Judy, the Minnesota kids - Christie and Alex, and the Wisconsin Dosch's - Dave, Lynn, Mike, Tristen, Katie, Randy, and Evie

Over the 21 months Lorna lived in her apartment, her various ailments sapped her strength and she became more and more frail. She went from walking independently to using a cane, to finally using a walker. She gave up shopping at the Dollar Tree and Nielsen’s super market and just gave lists to Bob or Dave. 





But that didn't stop her from continuing the Thanksgiving dinner with the hunters that had been a feature of deer hunting season for uncountable years. Only now we cooked the meal and brought her back to her house for the day.

In spite of having a life alert necklace, Lorna fell in October 2017 and lay on her floor for 36 hours until Ruth found her when she came back to work on a Monday. She was hospitalized and Dave, Dennis, Judy and I had to find a place for Mom. There was no space available in the Cumberland Nursing Home, which was Lorna’s preference. After many tears, and searches for assisted living places in northwestern Wisconsin and near our home in Madison, Lorna accepted that she would move to the Waterford in Fitchburg, just one mile from our home. The fall left Lorna unable to use her right shoulder – the arthritis has just destroyed her function with her right hand and shoulder. 

Lorna's new apartment in Fitchburg. Her 50th Wedding Anniversary quilt hangs on the left. This is her birthday, Nov 12, 2017. With Karen and Dennis, Nancy Walters, Browen, Penny, Randy, Katie. Tristen is helping Great Grandma open her gifts.

At age 93, Lorna now lives in Fitchburg, the first time she has ever lived anywhere but Clayton or Cumberland. She misses the Cumberland gossip immensely and her subscription to the Cumberland Advocate doesn’t quite fill the void. But she is adapting and getting used to life surrounded by her son, her grandchildren, and great grandchildren. The kids always make her smile and she looks forward to their frequent visits.

Great Grandma Lorna holding Penny, Halloween, 2017

We still have coffee, almost daily, with Lynn now providing bars and cookies for the occasion. She knows she needs the extra help with dressing, bathing, toileting and meals, even though she wishes it could be otherwise. She still manages her finances and her house from a distance. She still tells stories about her life and her families. And now she can attend special events, like Christmas, birthdays, and baptisms with some of her children and great grandchildren.

Tristen and Great Grandma Lorna, Christmas 2017

She came to my birthday party even though it is difficult for her to endure the chaos of lots of people and rambunctious 3-year olds in an unfamiliar place. I have 23 years to catch up to Lorna, God-willing and the creek don’t rise. Lorna is showing me how to live to be old with grace and humor and love. She is my model of longevity. 

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2018: Week 2: Favorite Photo

Week 2: Favorite Photo

This writing prompt is impossible. I can think of dozens of favorite photos. How do I pick one? The photo below jumped out of the files at me. Why?

This photo was taken Christmas Eve, 1962. Santa always came when we were in church on Christmas Eve. It took till about 1960 for me to figure out how this feat was accomplished, even though Nancy and I had often climbed into the attic where the presents were hidden to sneak a peak at the year’s gifts. (The ruse was horribly simple as it turns out. We would all be sitting in the car in the garage, waiting for Mom, who was always so slow. Dad would go in to find her while we waited impatiently in the car and somehow, none of us ever suspected who the Christmas elves were.)

1968 after decorating the tree - Sharon Dale and Yvonne

So first we went to church at St. Paul Ev Lutheran, our family church. I loved these services. We would be dropped off at the school to be walked over to the church as a class. (There was a cool underground tunnel from the school to the church so we didn’t have to go outside.) We would walk down the main aisle to our assigned pews, youngest to oldest classes, where we would fidget excitedly until the service began. Each class had part of the service, a recitation and a song. The congregation sang a carol in between each class recitation. The church was, and still is, beautiful. Soaring German gothic inside, two immense decorated Christmas trees on either side of the chancel, dimmed lighting and a creche at the front of the altar.

This photo is before my time - the church had been repainted and modernized since this photo, but it's still pretty close to our Christmas experience.

The whole service was awe-inspiring about God’s love for us in the form of a small baby. I still get teary-eyed at Christmas Eve services. And I can still sing most of the carols, all verses, by heart.

At the end of the service, we filed to the front of the church to be handed a paper sack full of goodies. Not too much candy, but nuts and tangerines and of course a candy cane. We filed through the chancel doors on either side and followed our teachers back to our classrooms where parents would meet us and pick us up.

By now the anticipation was practically unbearable as we knew that when we got home, we could open our presents. Of course, we tore into the house and directly to the tree, shedding coats as we went. We had to wait for my parents to get organized, for the camera to be brought out – although we never took a family photo, a great loss.

Hanson Christmas Tree 1989

Around the time of this photo, I started to notice that my Dad was not happily engaged with the gift opening. He seemed downright grumpy and morose. He sat in one of our swivel chairs and frowned the whole time. I never knew why. Worried about the cost of the gifts? Upset he didn’t get something he would like? Just worn out and cranky from trying to support us all? I never dared to ask.

At any rate, the photo at the top of this post was taken right after attacking the presents in 1962. I was in 9^th grade (14) and for the first time sat with the adults in the back of the church for the service. The suit I’m wearing was purchased for a 9^th grade dance I went to at Roosevelt Junior High School. (Everyone went without dates, I don’t remember it being much fun)

Nancy would have been in 7^th grade (12), Carl in 3^rd (8), Sharon in Kindergarten (5) and Dale would have been 3. At least I’m pretty close. The 3 littles each have one of their toys in front of them. Dad captured Dale’s crafty look perfectly. He always was and always will be a little imp.

2302 N. McDonald St. Appleton WI

The 1962 photo was taken in our dining room (kitchen behind and notice the wall mounted phone – the latest technology) in our house at 2302 North McDonald Street in Appleton. (By the way, the door heading out to the garage is on the right side of the photo behind me.)

Pat Hanson, 2012, Christmas is still a big deal

Christmas was a big deal at our house as it was for some of our Hanson cousins in town. I wonder how it was for others of my cousins or perhaps for Aunt Toots?

Sister Augustine aka Aunt Toots

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2018: Week 1 Start

Í'm going to start this 2018 Challenge to respond to 52 weekly writing prompts about my ancestors. I don't usually do this because I never complete challenges in any part of my life. (Stubbornness?) But my cousin Carin has nagged and encouraged me to start. So starting I am with the aptly named first challenge.

Week 1: Start

Dave and Lynn Dosch family with Katie, Michael and Christie

Who am I? Where do I come from? The older I get, the more I’m intrigued by these questions. I want answers for myself but I want my kids to have this information about who they are as well. I think I see this as my gift, my legacy to leave them when I am gone.

I am lucky. I grew up in close proximity to my extended family and never thought twice about it. I thought everyone had Sunday dinners with their grandparents, spent Thanksgiving with hoards of uncles, aunts and cousins, visited 5 families on Christmas day to wish them a Merry Christmas (and play with their new toys!) But by my teen years, in spite of having this swirl of relatives around me, I was mostly interested in escaping the “smallness” of my world to explore places far away. Looking back 70 years later, I regret the time I lost with close relatives. Hintz family reunions in Alicia Park were so much fun!

Oshkosh City Museum

Running around the Oshkosh Public Museum with Miller and Beutler cousins, playing cards, and (yuk!) gathering black walnuts from Grandma Sullivan’s tree was all part of the fun of being on High Street.

747 High Street, Oshkosh, Wisconsin, Grandma Sullivan's home; Pat Hanson talking to a renter in 2010. The house is owned by the University and is rented out as rooms.

It’s funny, I discovered an interest in my heritage when I was farthest away from home, living in Germany. My Dad knew he was from somewhere in Germany, but he thought the town no longer existed and didn’t seem interested in his German roots when he came to visit us in Germany. Husband Dave’s family, on the other hand, had a single clue – the name of a Swedish parish – and were very interested to find Lorna’s family. So when they visited, we traveled for a week to Norway and Sweden and, miracle of miracles, came face to face with family records in the church and then in government archives back to the 1600s.

Anderson family departure from Hassjo parish church

Not only that, but we found a living relative in a nearby town. I was blown away by the idea that you could actually trace your ancestors. The seeds of genealogy research were sown at that time, but only much later, when we finally moved back to the Midwest in 1992, did I begin to seriously consider the heritage of my children.

I dabbled at first, joining Ancestry and putting what I knew on that site. Lorna’s information was easiest to access. Her brother had done family group sheets (a list of a married couple and their children with birth, marriage and death dates). And Lorna is a great story-teller with a huge store of family history. Like my family, the Wilsons (Lorna) and Dosch’s had large extended families who gathered for birthdays, anniversaries, and homecomings. These families mostly stayed within close geographical distance of each other, so I came to know many of them over the years.

As I approached retirement, I had more time to explore. And by some lucky star, we decided to retire to Wisconsin and moved back to the state where I grew up and felt most at home. This hobby of genealogy suddenly became a passion.

Lots of things started to fall into place. I found Greg Sutherland online at Ancestry. I was 18 the last time I saw him. The Sulli Cuzzins got back together thanks to Facebook and plans for a Chicago reunion in 2011. Stories and photos continue on that family site to this day. I began to explore the Sullivan ancestry for my Mom who was beginning to show signs of dementia. I knew we were Polish and Irish, but not much more. Neither did my Mom to my great sadness. But bringing together my Mom, Aunt Monica, and Uncle Gerry at the reunion gave them all so much happiness and animation. And I met cousins I had only known by name. I re-met cousins I hadn’t seen since my teen years.

Sulli Cuzzins reunion in Chicago, July 2011. Siblings Gerry, Patricia and Monica seated in front row. Gerry's grandkids in front and assorted Sulli Cuzzins behind.

I found a place where I definitely belong, with people who make me smile and feel comfortable. And I began to accept that I am who I am because of the genetics, the history, and the nurture of these families. And that’s OK!

We made a trip to Williamsburg with my Mom in 2012 and stopped in Jamestown Tennessee on the way back for a fabulous visit with Greg, Susan, and best of all, Mom's sister, Bernice Sutherland.

Sullivan sisters: Bernice Sutherland and Pat Hanson, 2012

My Mom was so excited. And I realized how genealogy had led me back to my family. What a cool thing.

When my Mom died in 2013 (and Bernice just 3 weeks earlier), I coped with my mourning by diving into the Sullivan family history. For 3 months, I spent all day, every day doing Sullivan genealogy. It let me think about my Mom and not about her death. It created a legacy of family that I could hold on to even in her absence.

The web of family I have uncovered, both living and deceased, sustain me, define me and provide solid footing for me as I accept a new role as a family elder. I do not stand alone, but am supported by my cousins and my family whose nurturing is now part of my soul. I hope I live long enough to do justice to their stories.