Many of my Sullivan aunts had
nicknames that made it difficult to remember their real names. Some were easy,
like Syl and Monie for Sylvia and Monica. But then there’s Tiny, Toots, Deda,
and Bink. These names belonged to Dorothy (who was apparently weighed only 4 pounds when she
was born), Mary Catherine, Rita Virginia, and Bernice.
In all the various family
names, I don’t know if these nicknames qualify as my favorite names, but they are the most
memorable. Deda, Bink and Tiny lived many states away from us and we saw them
rarely, so I know them less well. Cousins who grew up around them tell stories about them that sound similar to my experiences with Toots. But Toots was always part of my life and one of the aunts I knew best.
Mary Catherine Sullivan (aka
Toots) was born in Le Pas, Manitoba, Canada on February 9, 1919. She was the third
child and first daughter of Marie Josephine Bednorz and William Augustine
Sullivan. “Arthur” as his wife called him was working for the Finger Lumber
Company as a grader and salesman.
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| Le Pas is a long way from Wisconsin! |
She was likely baptized in
what is now known as the Charlebois Chapel, the original catholic church of Le
Pas.
The family lived in Le Pas somewhere between 2 -5 years based on the birth
records of her older brothers who were born in Minneapolis in 1915 and 1917 and
her younger sister Ann who was born on January 22, 1922 in Oshkosh, WI. William A.'s draft registration card for WWI was signed in Le Pas on September 20, 1918, placing the family in Canada at that time. In her
(unpublished) memoir of 1967, Toots notes: “…I was born across from an Indian reservation
in Canada – the oldest of eight girls in a row, preceded by two brothers and
followed by one more sixteen years later….”
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| Charlebois Chapel, Le Pas, Manitoba, Canada |
Years later, her sister, Tiny, recorded
this story about Toots in her memoir, written in the early 1990s. [Toots speaking] “Canucks – Lu told me when I was very young that, because I was
born in Canada I was a Canuck, adding that Canucks turn into Indians when they
grow up. All I could picture in my mind,
Tiny and myself sitting cross-legged, Indian blanket around our shoulders,
before a teepee in front of which ran a river. I must have been familiar with
Hiawatha. Second grade.
THEN, in the summer I
was weeding an aster bed – I can see it yet – lavender, pink, purple, white –
and my hands and forearms got brown spots! I was horrified! “I hadn’t grown up
yet and I was already turning into an
Indian! And I was in Marshfield, away from anyone else – especially Tiny who by
all means ought to be able to console me as she shared my fate.” (Author's Note: Toots was visiting her grandparents, Michael and Catherine Whelan Sullivan at the time. She had been dropped off by her Dad on his way through Marshfield for business.)
There are few photos of the
family when Toots was young. She has this to say about her life at home: “Being one of the oldest of a large family has taught me early in life
to share not only material things, but also time, joys, and sorrows. It made me
gregarious – I despise having to be along – and it taught me to give in to
others even if I were the “big” sister. It made me sensitive to the needs and
wants of others.
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| Toots, center back, 1928 |
With a mother whose mind
was always active and creative, I was never at a loss for something
constructive or instructive to do, summer or winter. She liked to make
surprises for people and showed us the pleasure to be derived from the thoughtfulness
of doing so. She was a meticulous housekeeper and was determined that her girls
would take after her.
My father, not a
musician himself, always appreciated fine music. He was extremely tidy about
himself and was always polishing something, be it a window pane, a watch chain,
or a pair of shoes. I have adopted traits from both parents….”
Toots (and all the kids)
attended Catholic schools in Oshkosh. As she neared the end of high school, this
good Catholic family experienced parents who divorced. It shook Toots’ world. But attending Catholic schools also provided Toots the resilience to deal with the divorce and pointed her toward her adult vocation.
“The depression hit our house during my high
school years. A large family doesn’t have exactly an easy time when money for
food and clothing is scarce. Mom was an accomplished seamstress and earned a
few extra dollars at that, besides making clothes for all of us. Dad, who was a
lumber buyer, grader, and salesman, was forced at last to be a WPA foreman. I
worked for one dollar a week cleaning, ironing and doing dishes for a young
woman who was a hypochondriac. With that, plus babysitting at thirty-five cents
a night, I paid for all my high school expenses. This meant I had to choose my
recreations wisely; many times it meant coming into a basketball game after the
half or just walking with friends who were in the same straits. I found out the
hard way the value of money.
I spent twelve years
being educated by our sisters. In all that time, I never once was conscious of anyone’s verbally “selling” me religious life. Yet, when I look back, there
were two nuns who impressed me more than the others, though I loved and
respected all of them. They have influenced many of my attitudes toward life
and the values I set for myself.
Sister Gervase was my teacher for five years. No, I didn’t continually fail the grade; but she was “smart enough” to go with us from 2nd through 6th. I remember her as an excellent, enthusiastic teacher; one who taught us art appreciation and color theory; a warm, human person, and a perfect lady at all times. She left a fine imprint on me at an early age. I can see her in the classroom yet.
Sister Gervase was my teacher for five years. No, I didn’t continually fail the grade; but she was “smart enough” to go with us from 2nd through 6th. I remember her as an excellent, enthusiastic teacher; one who taught us art appreciation and color theory; a warm, human person, and a perfect lady at all times. She left a fine imprint on me at an early age. I can see her in the classroom yet.
It was when I was a
senior the blow fell—Mom and Dad having had a particularly frustrating and hard
time trying to make short ends meet, became impatient and cross with each other
and in April of that year, separated, making our family a “broken family”. This
was the greatest hurt of my life. I had just turned seventeen and my youngest
brother was only six months old. [Author's Note: Gerry has a different take on this divorce, having grown up in the aftermath of the divorce.] The two oldest were out trying to make a “go”
of it on their own. Besides the pain I felt for a family growing up without a
father in the house, I was particularly saddened because I was exceptionally
fond of my father. We had always been buddies, and though deep down I planned
on entering the convent shortly, I hated to see him so alone, so without the
family.
It was during these
dark days as a senior that Sister Antoine became my sounding board. I had to
talk to someone – and she listened sympathetically, patiently and often. She
never blamed, probed, or scolded – just listened. She had a real feeling for
people. I was aware that she enjoyed teaching teenagers. She never lowered
herself to their level. She was the first person to whom I mentioned my desire
to enter the convent, but that was all the further it went—merely mentioned. She
didn’t go into a sales pitch. When my father died in March of 1957, I thought,
“if only I could talk to someone who knew him—“. she would have been the one. I
was in Victoria; she in Hays—but died there in February almost before I even
knew she was ill.... That left me with no one who would understand my sorrow on the loss of
my father.
It seems that I had
never had the slightest thought of ever being anything but a Sister of St.
Agnes. It was my one and only choice, a dream which I barely mentioned to
anyone even by insinuation. I didn’t feel I had to share something that was so
exclusively mine. It would have taken something away from it I am sure.”
And so Toots
entered the Sisters of St. Agnes Community in Fond du Lac in summer of 1936.
Upon ordination in 1937, she took the name Sister Augustine in honor of her
father. She took her first vows in 1939 and her final vows in 1945.
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| Toots and her Mom, Mary Josephine Bednorz Sullivan, 1945 |
She recounts
this story about this journey of faith: “An unusual message came to me in a letter
from my Aunt Frances [Bednorz] during the first year after my profession. She wrote to me
quite regularly, but this letter was different. She related that when she took
me to the little church in LaPas, Manitoba, to be baptized, Father Gee, the
pastor, asked where my godfather was. My aunt explained that the family was
relatively new in the area and they didn’t feel they knew anyone well enough to
make such a request. He asked, ‘What’s the matter with me?’ and proceeded with
the baptism. After having signed his name as godfather, he said, “Who knows,
some day she may be a nun.” My aunt had deliberately kept this information from
me for fear that it would influence my making a free decision.”
The
religious life provided Toots undergraduate and graduate degrees in English,
Journalism, and Business, all of which Toots taught for many years in the Catholic schools attached to sister
houses in Fond du Lac, WI, Yonkers, NY, and Hayes, KS. She truly seemed to understand the minds of children and teen-agers and was always approachable and interested in her nieces and nephews. As a non-Catholic, I watched the efforts of the Catholic church to minister to ordinary folks through the modernization of Toots' habits, conversations about which she had frequently with us and with her siblings.
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| When habits first showed legs, new types of hose had to be considered. |
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| Unknown date, possibly the 60s. Wimpoles became smaller. |
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| unknown date Where's the habit? By the end of her life, nuns dressed in street clothes, modestly, of course |
She was
deeply invested in her nieces and nephews, and always had time to talk to us
and, more importantly, listen to us. We loved her to pieces and always enjoyed
her visits. We often received little tokens of love, cards and notes at various times of the year. I have kept the cross stitch cards I received from her over the years, appreciating the time and effort she made to communicate with me. I wish I had been more reciprocating of this care and hope she forgave my lack of effort in that area.
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| Is his possibly at Patty Porter's wedding? |
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| With Eddie and Paula, late 50s? |
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| 1982 with Ann, Mark, Monica |
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| 1993 with Pat, Yvonne's Jessica and Nicolle, in Fond du Lac |
When she was
in Yonkers, and I was living just north in Poughkeepsie, she talked me into
driving the community’s station wagon and several of the sisters to Washington,
DC for a weekend. A visit? A retreat? I forget now. But I do remember an
incident on the way down when we were driving through some construction and I
hit a bump a bit fast, causing us to swerve a bit. Eyes straight ahead,
focusing on the road, I heard Toots say “Perhaps now would be a good time to take out our rosaries.” Whether or not the prayers of a carful of nuns was
responsible, we suffered no further incidents in either direction. That was such a Toots understatement - calm, to the point, and kind.
Toots was
likewise close to her siblings, visiting them in summers whenever possible.
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| date unknown, Toots with her sister, Ann, niece ?JoAnn? , sisters Monie and ?Sylvia? , her Mom, Marie and sister, Pat |
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| 1985 no clue what's going on here - seems to be a slumber party |
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| 1988, with Bink on her 62nd birthday, when Toots was turning 69. |
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| 1985, ?California? ?Arizona? with Mel and Pat (Sullivan) Hanson, Ann, Sylvia and Toots |
Retirement afforded Toots lots of time to visit her family across the country. And she was always able to come to family events for those of us who lived near Fond du Lac where she was living. Toots, along with her sister-in-law, Winona Hamlin Sullivan, researched the Sullivan and Bednorz families to pass that information on to the next generation. We are so lucky she had the interest and foresight to write this all down. Did they somehow know that some of their children would carry on the research? We owe them thanks for their trips to countless courthouses, cemeteries, and
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| 1976, Toots, Ann, Pat on the way to Carl Hanson wedding (McDonald Street house, Appleton, WI) |
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| 1972 Dale and Yvonne Hanson with Grandma and Aunt Toots, when all the family was home to move Grandma to her apartment (Hanson home on McDonald St, Appleton WI) |
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| with Eddie 1972 (I think this was maybe in Grandma's new apartment?) |
The photos
we have of these siblings in retirement are full of joy and joking. Travel,
talk, card-playing and food were among the many enjoyments of spending time
together.
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| I think this is Syl, Toots, Bink and Ann, date unknown |
Toots died
on April 20, 1999, aged 80 years, at St. Francis Home in Fond du Lac, WI. But
her gentle ways, keen sense of humor, and great kindness live on in the
memories of those who knew and loved her. I hope I have absorbed and now model
her love and charity as well as her exuberance for life.
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| 1999 |
I don’t know
if Toots qualifies as my favorite name, but she does qualify as a favorite aunt. And if I have spelling or grammar errors, I hope Toots will forgive them, although she would have corrected them, for sure.
(Updated 2/3/2018 to correct some spelling and grammar errors and clarify some points. Maybe Toots was talking to me in my sleep last night.)
(Updated 2/3/2018 to correct some spelling and grammar errors and clarify some points. Maybe Toots was talking to me in my sleep last night.)
