52 Ancestors: Week 3 Longevity

Week 3: 

Longevity is always in the back of my mind these days. Today is my 70^th birthday and I have a lifetime of crafts, sewing and genealogy projects to finish. I need to live a long time to have a prayer of getting these done. And I need to have my arms, legs and especially my brain to function well these next years. In looking at my family, those on my mother’s side usually live into their late 70s to mid 80s, but are plagued by dementia. On my father’s side most ancestors have lived into their 70s, but with heart problems. My mother-in-law, Lorna Dosch, today told me I had 23 years to catch up to her (she’s 93 this year). I hope to live as long as she has - but unfortunately I don’t share any of her genes. Still, she is my model of longevity.

Lorna Jane Wilson was born November 12, 1924 in Clayton, Polk County, in northwestern Wisconsin. Her father was a farmer who had cleared the land, built the house, barn and out-buildings and owned a threshing machine with which he traveled across several states to harvest the crops of others.

1926 Lorna in center with brother Edwin and sister Hazel on the farm in Clayton WI

The US entered WWII while Lorna was still in high school. In the early 1940s, she met and began dating a young college student named Lee Arlo Dosch from the neighboring town of Amery, WI. Lorna graduated from high school in 1942.

Lorna 1942 Graduation

Lee enlisted in the navy in 1942 with active duty waived until he graduated from River Falls State Teachers College (now a University of Wisconsin school) in 1943.

1942, Lee and Lorna 

Lee was sent immediately after graduation to Notre Dame, Indiana, for Midshipman School. After this training, he was sent to Boston for training in radar technology at Harvard and MIT. While in Boston, Lee bought and sent (by US Mail, no less) an engagement ring to Lorna. She visited Boston after Christmas of 1943, found a rooming house and job and stayed. They married at Harvard Chapel in Boston on March 4, 1944.

Lee Dosch and Lorna Wilson, Wedding Portrait, March 4, 1944

Lee was sent to the Pacific in the fall of 1944. While he fought in the Pacific in the battles of the Philippines and Okinawa as a radar technician aboard the famous picket line destroyers, Lorna returned home. It’s hard to imagine how she must have felt during what must have been a very difficult year for them both.

After the war, they settled in Cumberland, where Lee taught Chemistry and Physical Education before becoming a guidance counselor. They raised a family of 3 boys and Lorna eventually became the head of the food service program for Cumberland Public Schools. Under her tenure lunches were wildly popular with staff and students alike because the kitchen made everything from scratch. 

Lorna, 1983, Head of School Lunch Program 

During the summer school breaks, Lee, Lorna and kids traveled widely within the U.S. via camper.

1966 Fishing Bridge campground - Dave, Lorna, Dennis, Duane

In retirement, they continued their love of travel, visits with family and friends, and service to their community through their church.

After Lee’s death in 2001, Lorna continued to live in the house they had owned for more than 50 years. She managed all her needs – gardening, canning, serving Thanksgiving dinner to a hoard of hunters, volunteering at church, etc, for several years longer. She kept meticulous financial records and managed the maintenance of the house without outside help. She was never afraid to speak her piece about politics. But, like her father before her, over the next two decades, she developed severe rheumatoid arthritis in her joints, especially her wrists. She had a nocardia infection in her lungs which nearly killed her and she lost her hearing to a bout of shingles that settled in her ears. To add insult to injury, she suffered from a particularly aggressive form of glaucoma that stole most of her sight. Her doctor always called her “a tough old Swede” because nothing kept her down for long.

Lorna was well into her 80s when she told me she had baked and was delivering cookies to “the old folks” around town. I reminded her that she was one of the “old folks” and people should be delivering cookies to her house. She just laughed.

Following a fall just after Thanksgiving of 2015, at age 91, Lorna's children finally convinced her she could no longer live in her home. She refused to live with her children and she would not consider leaving Cumberland, so with many tears, she moved a small part of her possessions into a one-bedroom apartment. Owned by the Cumberland Medical Center, this apartment was conveniently attached to the nursing home, hospital and clinic, provided one meal daily and was only a block from her house. With extra help provided weekly by staff member Ruth, driving duties and lawn care at her house provided by a family friend, Bob, neighborly watch over her house by Joe, and monthly visits from son David, Lorna managed both her house and her life as she had always done. She knew when bills needed to be paid, doctor visits scheduled, and birthday cards mailed. By sitting next to the large screen TV, Lorna followed all the sports – Packers, Brewers, and Badgers and could talk knowledgeably about players and statistics. Having coffee with friends (on pretty plates, of course) was always a priority and the kitchen had cookies stashed in many cupboards and drawers.

Lorna January 2016, moving to her new apartment

Easter dinner at Lorna's house, March 27, 2016

Thanksgiving, 2016, with the Colorado kids - Dennis, Alex and Judy, the Minnesota kids - Christie and Alex, and the Wisconsin Dosch's - Dave, Lynn, Mike, Tristen, Katie, Randy, and Evie

Over the 21 months Lorna lived in her apartment, her various ailments sapped her strength and she became more and more frail. She went from walking independently to using a cane, to finally using a walker. She gave up shopping at the Dollar Tree and Nielsen’s super market and just gave lists to Bob or Dave. 





But that didn't stop her from continuing the Thanksgiving dinner with the hunters that had been a feature of deer hunting season for uncountable years. Only now we cooked the meal and brought her back to her house for the day.

In spite of having a life alert necklace, Lorna fell in October 2017 and lay on her floor for 36 hours until Ruth found her when she came back to work on a Monday. She was hospitalized and Dave, Dennis, Judy and I had to find a place for Mom. There was no space available in the Cumberland Nursing Home, which was Lorna’s preference. After many tears, and searches for assisted living places in northwestern Wisconsin and near our home in Madison, Lorna accepted that she would move to the Waterford in Fitchburg, just one mile from our home. The fall left Lorna unable to use her right shoulder – the arthritis has just destroyed her function with her right hand and shoulder. 

Lorna's new apartment in Fitchburg. Her 50th Wedding Anniversary quilt hangs on the left. This is her birthday, Nov 12, 2017. With Karen and Dennis, Nancy Walters, Browen, Penny, Randy, Katie. Tristen is helping Great Grandma open her gifts.

At age 93, Lorna now lives in Fitchburg, the first time she has ever lived anywhere but Clayton or Cumberland. She misses the Cumberland gossip immensely and her subscription to the Cumberland Advocate doesn’t quite fill the void. But she is adapting and getting used to life surrounded by her son, her grandchildren, and great grandchildren. The kids always make her smile and she looks forward to their frequent visits.

Great Grandma Lorna holding Penny, Halloween, 2017

We still have coffee, almost daily, with Lynn now providing bars and cookies for the occasion. She knows she needs the extra help with dressing, bathing, toileting and meals, even though she wishes it could be otherwise. She still manages her finances and her house from a distance. She still tells stories about her life and her families. And now she can attend special events, like Christmas, birthdays, and baptisms with some of her children and great grandchildren.

Tristen and Great Grandma Lorna, Christmas 2017

She came to my birthday party even though it is difficult for her to endure the chaos of lots of people and rambunctious 3-year olds in an unfamiliar place. I have 23 years to catch up to Lorna, God-willing and the creek don’t rise. Lorna is showing me how to live to be old with grace and humor and love. She is my model of longevity. 

52 Ancestors in 52 Weeks 2018: Week 1 Start

Í'm going to start this 2018 Challenge to respond to 52 weekly writing prompts about my ancestors. I don't usually do this because I never complete challenges in any part of my life. (Stubbornness?) But my cousin Carin has nagged and encouraged me to start. So starting I am with the aptly named first challenge.

Week 1: Start

Dave and Lynn Dosch family with Katie, Michael and Christie

Who am I? Where do I come from? The older I get, the more I’m intrigued by these questions. I want answers for myself but I want my kids to have this information about who they are as well. I think I see this as my gift, my legacy to leave them when I am gone.

I am lucky. I grew up in close proximity to my extended family and never thought twice about it. I thought everyone had Sunday dinners with their grandparents, spent Thanksgiving with hoards of uncles, aunts and cousins, visited 5 families on Christmas day to wish them a Merry Christmas (and play with their new toys!) But by my teen years, in spite of having this swirl of relatives around me, I was mostly interested in escaping the “smallness” of my world to explore places far away. Looking back 70 years later, I regret the time I lost with close relatives. Hintz family reunions in Alicia Park were so much fun!

Oshkosh City Museum

Running around the Oshkosh Public Museum with Miller and Beutler cousins, playing cards, and (yuk!) gathering black walnuts from Grandma Sullivan’s tree was all part of the fun of being on High Street.

747 High Street, Oshkosh, Wisconsin, Grandma Sullivan's home; Pat Hanson talking to a renter in 2010. The house is owned by the University and is rented out as rooms.

It’s funny, I discovered an interest in my heritage when I was farthest away from home, living in Germany. My Dad knew he was from somewhere in Germany, but he thought the town no longer existed and didn’t seem interested in his German roots when he came to visit us in Germany. Husband Dave’s family, on the other hand, had a single clue – the name of a Swedish parish – and were very interested to find Lorna’s family. So when they visited, we traveled for a week to Norway and Sweden and, miracle of miracles, came face to face with family records in the church and then in government archives back to the 1600s.

Anderson family departure from Hassjo parish church

Not only that, but we found a living relative in a nearby town. I was blown away by the idea that you could actually trace your ancestors. The seeds of genealogy research were sown at that time, but only much later, when we finally moved back to the Midwest in 1992, did I begin to seriously consider the heritage of my children.

I dabbled at first, joining Ancestry and putting what I knew on that site. Lorna’s information was easiest to access. Her brother had done family group sheets (a list of a married couple and their children with birth, marriage and death dates). And Lorna is a great story-teller with a huge store of family history. Like my family, the Wilsons (Lorna) and Dosch’s had large extended families who gathered for birthdays, anniversaries, and homecomings. These families mostly stayed within close geographical distance of each other, so I came to know many of them over the years.

As I approached retirement, I had more time to explore. And by some lucky star, we decided to retire to Wisconsin and moved back to the state where I grew up and felt most at home. This hobby of genealogy suddenly became a passion.

Lots of things started to fall into place. I found Greg Sutherland online at Ancestry. I was 18 the last time I saw him. The Sulli Cuzzins got back together thanks to Facebook and plans for a Chicago reunion in 2011. Stories and photos continue on that family site to this day. I began to explore the Sullivan ancestry for my Mom who was beginning to show signs of dementia. I knew we were Polish and Irish, but not much more. Neither did my Mom to my great sadness. But bringing together my Mom, Aunt Monica, and Uncle Gerry at the reunion gave them all so much happiness and animation. And I met cousins I had only known by name. I re-met cousins I hadn’t seen since my teen years.

Sulli Cuzzins reunion in Chicago, July 2011. Siblings Gerry, Patricia and Monica seated in front row. Gerry's grandkids in front and assorted Sulli Cuzzins behind.

I found a place where I definitely belong, with people who make me smile and feel comfortable. And I began to accept that I am who I am because of the genetics, the history, and the nurture of these families. And that’s OK!

We made a trip to Williamsburg with my Mom in 2012 and stopped in Jamestown Tennessee on the way back for a fabulous visit with Greg, Susan, and best of all, Mom's sister, Bernice Sutherland.

Sullivan sisters: Bernice Sutherland and Pat Hanson, 2012

My Mom was so excited. And I realized how genealogy had led me back to my family. What a cool thing.

When my Mom died in 2013 (and Bernice just 3 weeks earlier), I coped with my mourning by diving into the Sullivan family history. For 3 months, I spent all day, every day doing Sullivan genealogy. It let me think about my Mom and not about her death. It created a legacy of family that I could hold on to even in her absence.

The web of family I have uncovered, both living and deceased, sustain me, define me and provide solid footing for me as I accept a new role as a family elder. I do not stand alone, but am supported by my cousins and my family whose nurturing is now part of my soul. I hope I live long enough to do justice to their stories.

Rutabaga Fest in Cumberland, Wisconsin

Haven't posted in a few days as we were at my mother-in-law's house and she has no use for computers or the Internet.  And we were too busy to be wasting time at a wi-fi hot spot in town.  After all it was the 81st Annual Rutabaga Fest and the Dosch family were all home for the weekend. Always the weekend before labor day, it's a family reunion time of year. It's also a time when many of the kids who've left town for other parts return to catch up with classmates and friends.

Cumberland calls itself the Rutabaga Capital of the World.  (Not sure that any other town would want to wrestle that title from Cumberland.)  Back in the day, there was a rutabaga waxing plant in town. Rutabagas were grown in the area, waxed at the plant and shipped all over by train.  Does anyone even eat rutabagas anymore?

In case you haven't ever tried this root vegetable, it can be eaten raw like carrot sticks but to me it tastes bitter.  My husband says it's an acquired taste.  It can be cooked and served like mashed potatoes.  At Rutabaga fest you'll find it deep fried like french fries.

Maybe not the most exciting food ever found,but the fest is something else. There's something for everyone - a 2 mile fun walk (where they hand out beer tickets on completion), 5 k and 10 k runs, a canoe regatta on the lake, craft fair, fair rides and games, food booths, tractor pull, car show, and more, as well as the crowning of the Rutabaga queen and her court, followed by a culminating parade on Sunday including floats from all the other small towns around northwest Wisconsin who also have their own festival to advertise.

From Thursday evening till Sunday evening there are bands on the beer garden stage set up along Library Lake behind the main street.  The last few years, the Dweebs have traditionally been the last band - a blowback to the 50's.

photo courtesy Dick Thorpe 2009

During the break when you can once again hear and talk to your friends, Dick Thorpe takes a whole group photograph from the roof of the beer stand.  We've been asking ourselves what makes this festival so large, popular enough to attract people from as far away as Minneapolis and St. Paul.  We think it's the bands. The music is good - loud, but very danceable - with a variety of styles to suit all tastes. And it's plentiful with 2 bands playing each night Thursday through Sunday.

Over the years, attending this fest has become a Dosch family tradition.  My children remember it fondly and make a point to get there if possible.  It's become a family reunion time. Grandma's house is 2 blocks from the festival stage and right on the parade route, making it the ideal staging area for the weekend.  There are often family friends who crash at grandma's too, requiring that we tow our camper and set it up in the backyard to provide sleeping accommodations for everyone.  This year we were 11, causing endless commotion handled with extraordinary aplomb by 89-year-old Grandma Lorna.

Family stories and laughter filled the house during meal times when we were all together.  It reminded me that I have to find a solution to record at least the voice of Lorna as she passes on the lore and experiences from her generation.  And I need to do it soon. I want something unobtrusive so that it doesn't feel like a recorded session.  I need to get that figured out before deer-hunting season when once more we will all be together to celebrate life as an extended family.

I briefly tried out the voice recorder on my Evernote phone app and that worked ok - not great, but not awful either.  I will play around with that option on my computer to see if I can get a better quality recording. But Grandma would say, "Who needs computers? Life is better talking face to face."